Me at parties
At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.
So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.
SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.
She refused to fix my grade.
In the end, she shit herself on stage.
I didn’t regret it.
me in 70 years
like ten years ago i drew a comic strip entitled “if the president were a moth” in which the president is a human sized moth watching the olympics and when they light the torch it flies off in pursuit of it and then two cia guys stand up and shout “MR. PRESIDENT!!!!!!!” i was really ahead of my time
i guess i recorded an ice bucket challenge today after i got my wisdom teeth out ??
✨💖💎y2kbae 4 Eva💎💖✨
💞✨ cyber bitch ✨💞
△ ▼ ▽ gentle ghetto △ ▼ ▽
WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE
flexing muscles sit-ups abs lifting weights push-ups physical activity running football biceps
IVE SEEN THIS POST LIKE 4 TIMES ON MY DASH WITH DIFFERENT PHOTOS OF EQUIUS
No more excuses.
I will forever reblog this
It’s sort of horrifying that we all know what they’re talking about without them really saying it.. that it’s become that much of a norm in our society that we just know.
apparently some guy named mark was trying to tell my mom he needed to speak with my dad about any financial transactions my mom was making because he was the man of the house and she did not take kindly to his implying that my dad was the primary breadwinner/person in charge in our family so
a guy walked into the board room and said
"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"
and i just stared at him and coldly said
"i am the regional reports manager"
we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life
your body is 93% stardust so dont give up little star (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧